catholic family faith

Back to School

Teachers and students have returned to school this week.  How has your family survived the return to activities and routine?

This first week of school is important for families.  It sets the tone for how they may relate to one another throughout the academic year.  Consider how your family did this first week of school by reflecting on these questions:

• Have we established a morning routine for breakfast, sharing the bathroom, deciding what to wear, and making sure we each have what we need before we walk out the door?
• Do we have a balanced after school routine:  extra-curricular activities, homework, family time?
• Have we eaten a meal together at least two times this week?
• Have we spent time together as a family talking about our day and sharing support and encouragement for one another?
• Are our activities balanced?  Are our kids in too many activities, too few, just right?

As you reflect on these questions, ask God to keep your family connected and supportive of one another.  If you feel out of sorts and unbalanced, ask God to help you to discern your priorities and create a more balanced schedule.

God of Love, help us to keep our focus on you and on one another.  Fill us with your Spirit of Compassion as we begin this school year.  Bless our year with love, joy, and peace.  Amen.

 

Open That Bible!

When was the last time you cracked the binding of your family Bible?  I have to admit that our family Bible doesn't get opened much anymore.  Oh, my personal Bible is opened every day, but since my daughters graduated from high school, my family hasn't read the Scriptures together.  (We hear them at Sunday Mass, but we're often at different Masses.)

My own experience makes me wonder about how many other families read the Bible on a regular basis.  Here is my challenge for your family/household:  Crack open your Bible at least weekly.  Whether it's your big family Bible (you know, the one you and your husband received at your wedding or the one you received when your first child was baptized), your personal Bible, or even if you have to go out and buy a new Bible, put it on your kitchen table and open it up at least once a week.  (I'll do a separate posting on suggestions for purchasing Bibles.)

Here are some tips for reading the Scriptures together as a family:

• Don't let your fear of not knowing what's what keep you from opening your Bible.  Start with the Table of Contents; there you will find a listing of the books of the Old Testament and the New Testament.  Together count the number of books of the Old Testament, then the number of books of the New Testament.  Notice the breakout of the books of the Old Testament:  The Pentateuch, the Historical Books, the Wisdom Books, the Prophetic Books.  Look at the breakout of the books of the New Teevelation.stament:  The Gospels, Acts of the Apostles, the New Testament Letters or Epistles, the Catholic letters (if you have a Catholic Bible), the Book of Revelation.
• Decide what to read.  You have choices!  You can simply open your Bible and begin reading where your eye lands first.  You can begin with a specific book; what book are you curious about?  You can follow along with the Church's Lectionary, the Sunday or daily readings.  (Click on the USCCB Readings and Psalms for the Month icon on the left menu.) 
• A word about chapter and verse notations...Bible passages are noted with the name of the book, the number of the chapter, and the number of the verse(s).  For example, if you see something like "Mt 13:1-23," the "Mt" is the initials for the book (in this case, Matthew), the "13" before the colon is the chapter number, and the "1-23" is the verses of the passage; so you would open your Bible to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 13, verses 1-23.  (If you are unsure about the initials of the book noted, Google the passage or go to www.biblegateway.com and search the initials to find the book it is referencing.)
• Read the passage reflectively.  Read the passage through slowly one time.  Let family members just listen to the words and sit quietly with them for a moment.  Then read the passage slowly again.  Invite family members to speak one word or phrase that stood out for them; just the word or phrase.  Read the passage slowly a third time.  Invite family members to dialogue about what they hear from this passage.  This is a process of Lectio Divina, Divine Reading.  It is a wonderful way to hear what God is speaking to you through the passage.

Remember that there is no wrong way to read the Bible!  No matter what you read or how you read it, if you just read a passage and reflect on it, you will be hearing God's Word. 

This week, begin making time at least one time per week to read your Bible.  I promise you that it will unite your family with one another and with God.

If you have Bible reading practices that have worked with your family, share your thoughts in "Comments."

 

February Faith & Fun for Families

Here in Michigan it's cold and snowy.  It's fun to play outside in the snow, but only to a certain point.  When you can no longer feel your fingers, toes, or nose, it's time to go inside.  So in February, kids and adults in the north often suffer from "Cabin Fever" from being pent up in the house too long.

Check out these sites for activities to help your family beat Cabin Fever with faith & fun.

Family, Faith, and Fun from Loyola Press - Includes February Saints calendar, family activites, and inspiration for daily family life.

Pflaum Reproducibles for Winter - Reproducible activities for winter from Pflaum Publishing.

Winter Activities for Kids - Top 10 outdoor activities from FamilyEducation.com.

Winter Craft Activities for Kids - Fun crafts to fight winter boredom from FamilyEducation.com.

Family Fun Ideas - A website full of fun ideas for families - FamilyFun.com.

 

Christmas Continues...

Despite the after-Christmas store sales and trees lying along the curb, Christmas is not over.  We are actually in the middle of the Christmas season.  This weekend, our Christmas celebrations continue with Ephiphany.  Christmas ends next Sunday with the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.  

How is your family keeping the spirit of Christmas alive in your hearts and home?  Here are some ideas for keeping Christmas alive for your family:

• Keep reading Christmas stories.  Children love bedtime stories.  Since you're probably going to read a story at bedtime anyway, make it a Christmas story.  Why limit stories of Jesus' birth to Christmas Eve and Day?  These stories are good for us to hear throughout the season (and even throughout the entire year!)  A good book to consider getting from your local library or bookstore is Mouse Tales: Things Hoped For: Advent, Christmas, Epiphany by Ruth L. Boling - A set of stories in which church mice live, work, and play together, in the process of demonstrating hope in their daily lives and actions.  The stories, which take place during the Christmas season, show the community how to care for one another, welcome outsiders, disagree in love, forgive their friends, and love as Christ loves.  They reflect a community living out its faith by choosing to hope.
• Watch more Christmas movies.  There are just too many good Christmas movies to limit them to Advent.  Keep snuggling up with hot cocoa to watch those fun movies, which also usually have great lessons in them.
• Make more Christmas cookies!  My family didn't have time to bake cookies before Christmas, so we've decided to make them throughout the Christmas season.  We've selected three of our favorite recipes, then mix up one recipe at a time.  This way, cookies don't get stale and go to waste, and we satisfy our sweet tooth throughout the season.
• Keep some decorations out.  Okay, the Christmas tree is wilting and losing its needles; it needs to come down.  But why put away all of the decorations?  Our family continues to display reminders of Christmas until the Baptism of the Lord.  We keep our winter decorations out - snowmen, stars, candles and lights, etc. - through January (at least).
• As you put away those new Christmas clothes, go through your closet and drawers and pack up the items that don't fit anymore to give to a local shelter or mission.  Shelters and missions especially need socks and blankets throughout the winter months, so perpetuate the spirit of giving by donating blankets, socks, food, and other items to shelters and missions.

Don't let our culture limit your Christmas fun to the month of December.  Enjoy the wonder of Christmas throughout the entire season. 

Happy Winter Solstice!

It is officially winter in the northern hemisphere.  The winter solstice is when the Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun.  The word "solstice" comes from the Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still), meaning that the sun has seemingly come to a halt before reversing direction.  (Actually, it our planet, Earth, that is doing the turning and moving.)

Tonight, December 21, 2010, is the longest night of the year.  This is our darkest day.

Today is also a day of hope.  Beginning tonight, the days will grow longer and the nights will grow shorter as we look forward to the coming of spring.

The winter solstice has been celebrated among peoples for centuries.  The celebration of Christmas on December 25th is  actually a combining of the Christian belief of the coming of the Messiah, the Light of the World, and the pagan festival of light during which the ancient peoples kept vigil through the darkest night of the year awaiting the birth of the sun (the Roman festival natalis solis invicti, or "birth of the unconquered sun.")  The Church began celebrating the Birth of Christ at the same time as the pagan celebration of the winter solstice in the year 336 C.E. after the Emperor Constantine declared Christianity as the Roman Empire's favored religion.

So how are you keeping vigil on this longest night of the year?  How will you celebrate the coming of the sun, the expanding hours of daylight?  How are you preparing to celebrate the coming of the Son, the Light of the World?

Tonight is a wonderful night to curl up with your family, turn off the lights, light some candles, and share the Christmas story, the coming of the Light of the World.  Then snuggle into bed for a "long winter's nap."

 

Advent Begins This Weekend

This Sunday, we begin a new Lectionary cycle (Cycle A), a new season (Advent), and a new Liturgical (Church) Year.  The Church has a three-year Lectionary cycle.  We just finished Year C, throughout which we heard readings from the Gospel of Luke.  Throughout the next year, we will hear readings from the Gospel of Matthew.

The color of Advent is violet.  Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas.  It is a time of contemplation and preparation.  For some Advent information and activities to do with your family, check out these sites: 

• http://loyolapress.com/ - search "Advent"
• http://www.pflaum.com/families3/?url=/families3? - You will have to register, but it's FREE!
• http://acyberpilgrim.org/ - videos reflecting on the first week of Advent as well as making your own Advent wreath
• http://www.dltk-holidays.com/xmas/advent.html
• http://www.catholicmom.com/advent_kids.htm

 One of the activities that we do in our home is to get our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving.  We get bundled up, listen to Christmas music on the radio (it begins on two stations in our area the week after Halloween), and drive to a local tree farm.  We even take the dog!  We trudge out into the forest field and check out all the trees as we go.  We usually walk a while and end up at the far end of the field; that's part of the process.  It's the most fun when there's snow, but this year we're probably not going to have any.  After we cut the tree, we get hot chocolate, load up the tree, and head back home.  We put the tree up in our living room, but don't completely decorate it all at once...that's part of the Advent process.  We take our time decorating our tree and our home, putting up a little each week until all of the decorations are out and placed for Christmas.

That's the beauty of Advent.  It's a time of preparation, but we should take our time.  We are preparing for Christmas, the celebration of Christ's birth, the Incarnation, God-become-human.  We also prepare for Christ's coming at the end of the age.  That's going to take a while...we don't know the day or the hour.  So in our home, we remember that preparing is a continual process by taking our time putting out the decorations. 

How will your family celebrate Advent this year?  Make a plan to intentionally participate in this season.  Make it simple.  Pray around your Advent wreath at the end of the day.  Take your time putting up your decorations, sharing the memories of those special ornaments.  Read the Sunday readings together before you go to Mass.  Make some Christmas cookies to eat and to share.  Snuggle together and watch your favorite Christmas shows.  Even if you get to Christmas and realize you haven't done everything - or anything - in your plan, at least as you go through the season, you will be aware of the importance of preparing for Christ's coming.

 

Busy...Busy...Busy...

Have you ever set a goal for yourself only to have "one thousand and one" distractions keep you for working to reach your goal?  That's my life these past two months, it seems.

I really wanted to write more:  blogging, writing prompts, journaling.  Instead, my writing time was filled with conversations with my family, helping my daughter with her new baby, regular household chores, catching up on reading for ministry, coordinating ministry activities, communicating with people who help make events happen, making lists of what needed to be done, and more.  My only "free time" was between 9pm and 6:30am...and I slept out of pure exhaustion.

Everyone has these times in their lives.  We have plans and great expectations for meeting our goals, but Life comes along and takes over.  And you know what?  That's okay.  Life is good, even in its busy-ness.

This is what I've learned in these last couple of months of constant motion and distraction:

• Live in the moment.  Too often, I get swept away with thoughts of the future.  My mind races: "There's so much to do...," "I need to get that done for next week...," "What if..."  I have realized that it helps me to make lists of what needs to be accomplished.  I usually have three lists.  The first is a list of everything that's coming up in the next 4-6 months; all the projects and activities and events.  I set up this list in my computer's Outlook program utilizing Calendars and Tasks.  The second list is everything that needs to be accomplished this week.  I write this list out on a sticky note and put it in my calendar book.  The third list is what needs to be accomplished in any given day.  I write this list directly into my calendar on each day.  (My calendar is an 8" x 10" spiral-bound Liturgy and Appointment Calendar, so there's plenty of room to keep track of meetings and tasks.)  With these three lists, I know what lies ahead in the future, but I don't have to worry about everything all at once because I focus on the daily tasks first.  If I finish those tasks in any given day, I can choose to move on to the next day's tasks, or I can put all work aside and have some fun.
• Appreciate 5 minutes (or 3 minutes, or 2 minutes, or even just 60 seconds).  As I try to live in the Now, I find myself cherishing 5 minute (or less) retreats.  I stop what I'm doing, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and tap into Spirit within me.  These mini-retreats throughout my days really do get me through.  I find that if I do this regularly, I feel more energized and can focus on the task at hand much better. 
• Goals can wait; people are more important.  Josiyah, my grandson, has helped me to remember that people are more important than tasks.  He and his mom are living with us so he reminds me of this on a daily basis.  Despite needing to vacuum and dust, Josiyah, his mom, his aunt, and his papa need to have some attention.  I have been forced to sit and listen, engage in conversation, watch movies, and snuggle, and even if I've wanted to write or accomplish some work, I've had to set it aside (no matter how painful that was) to focus on the people in my life.  I've found that those "people moments" are enriching, and all the work waits for me to do another time.  Sometimes we just need to set aside our goals and tasks to experience and remember what really matters.
• I am an introvert, and I need time for quiet introspection.  This is one of my most difficult lessons, and it's the most difficult for my family to understand.  I need alone time for quiet introspection.  I need to tap into Spirit within me.  This is one area that has been lacking in my life these last couple of months, and I'm feeling the strain.  Especially these last couple of weeks, I have felt frustrated and restless and unmotivated.  While I have continued to work and get things done, I have felt my body and soul pulling me to get away.  I've wanted to leave work early (and have done so some days.)  I've wanted to tell people around me to just be quiet and let me be.  I have learned that I need to make time for quiet alone time, or I become difficult to live with.  This is hard for my family to understand.  They need to be with me, to talk to me.  When I'm home, I literally lock myself in the bathroom just to have a few moments of quiet, but even the cat paws at the door until I come out!  I need to plan my quiet time into my schedule.  And I've learned that it's okay to tell my family that I'm doing this so that I will be nicer to live with.
• Have fun with it all.  At the beginning of October, Jason Kotecki came to our parish and spoke about "Living and Loving with Less Stress and More Fun."  [Check out Jason's website at www.kimandjason.com]  He reminded me that I need to not take life so seriously, to be child-like and have fun.  I'm striving to do just that.  Play and laughter are therapeutic.  As I'm working from day to day, I have tried to constantly look for those opportunities to make my tasks more fun.  I turn on some music (CD's of Vacation Bible School songs are wonderful energizers.)  I give myself incentives, such as if I finish this task, I can walk around the building or watch a YouTube video or eat some chocolate.  God created us to enjoy life, and that's what I'm trying to do.

I pray that all of us - me and you - always strive to remember what's most important.  Even in those tremendously busy times of our lives, may we recognize Spirit around us and within us, helping us to live in the moment, realize what's most important, and have fun with it all.

Lord's Day Faith Chat - 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time - October 24, 2010

Readings:  Sirach 35:12-14,16-18; Psalm 34; 2 Timothy 4:6-8,16-18; Luke 18:9-14

"For those who make themselves great will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be made great." (Luke 18:14b)

What, exactly, does it mean to be humble?  This is a question that I think parents struggle with in regard to their children.  Parents want to teach their children the virtue of humility, but they also want their children to have good self-esteem.  The struggle is to find the balance between healthy self-esteem and humility.

I think that the key to humility is love, specifically God's love.  God created each person in love.  Therefore, each person is good and should be treated with dignity and respect.  We should even treat ourselves with dignity and respect.

We humble ourselves in the presence of God and others when we put aside our own needs and wants in order to help others.  When we stop thinking about what others will think of us and sit by the "dorky kid" in the lunch room or rake the leaves of the "mean old man" down the street, we are practicing humility.  When we share our favorite toys or offer our last Dove chocolate to a co-worker, we are practicing humility.  When we leave work at a decent hour and spend the evening with our families, we are practicing humility.  When we stop what we're doing to calmly sit with a child who is upset or throwing a tantrum, we are practicing humility.

We also practice humility when we work to develop the abilities and talents with which God created us.  When we keep reading out loud to improve our reading skills, we are practicing humility.  When we kick that soccer ball just one more time and then again just one more time, we are practicing humility.  When we talk to ourselves in our cars as we prepare for an important presentation, without worrying about what the persons in the cars around us think, we are practicing humility.

When we realize our own goodness and appreciate and work to improve our own abilities and talents, we humble ourselves.  When we recognize goodness in others and act to help them realize their goodness, we humble ourselves.

Humility is a fruit of self-esteem.  If we feel good about ourselves and appreciate our abilities and talents, we will naturally appreciate the goodness of others and help them to realize their own dignity.  If we love ourselves as God created us to be, we will in turn love others as God created them.

So praise your children and encourage them to realize their abilities and talents.  Tell them every day how much you and God love them and want them to be happy. 

Faith Chat Questions:

Adults/Youth:  Today's Gospel reminds us to approach God and others with humility.  What does this mean, in practical terms?  How do you practice humility?  What does it mean to be humble?

Children:  What does it mean to pray from your heart?

Faith Response:  Together with your family, come up with a good, practical definition of the word "humble."  What does it mean to live with humility?  Write your definition on an index card and post it on your refrigerator.  Encourage one another to live your definition of humility.  Each day this week, at mealtime or at bedtime, invite family members to share how they practiced humility that day.

Pray:  God of Love, inspire us to pray and live sincerely, from the depths of our hearts.  Amen.

Lord's Day Faith Chat - 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time - October 10, 2010

Readings:  2 Kings 5:14-17; Psalm 98; 2 Timothy 2:8-13; Luke 17:11-19

And one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice; and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him.  (Luke 17:15-16)

This story from the gospel of Luke reminds us to be thankful to God.  Prayers of thanksgiving to God are some of the most important prayers we pray.  They remind us of God's goodness and love.  And they help us to keep our eyes open to that goodness in loves in every aspect of our lives.

In reading this story, I was struck by a couple of things.  First of all, because the ten men were lepers, they were considered unclean and could not approach anyone in public.  So "they stood at a distance from" Jesus and cried out to him, "Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!"  Respecting the societal standards of the time, Jesus didn't approach them.  Usually, he would touch the person he was healing, but in this case he kept his distance and didn't have physical contact with the lepers.  Instead, he simply called to them, "Go show yourselves to the priests."

I can imagine the lepers saying to themselves, "That's it?  He's not going to lay his hands on us and heal us?  He's not going to pray over us?  Just 'Go show yourselves to the priests'?"  And they walked away.

One of the lepers, however, realized that he had been healed.  This is the other thing that struck me:  The man recognized Jesus' power to heal him despite not having touched him or spoken graceful words over him.  The man simply opened his eyes to the possibilities of healing and, as Jesus reminds him, his faith saved him.

How might we respond?  How often do we need or want something and pray to God for that to be realized only to continue crying out, "Jesus, Master!  Save us."?  We need to keep our eyes opened to the possibilities.  We need to have faith, to believe in our hearts and souls - our guts - that God is goodness and love, and God will respond to our cries.  God is ultimate goodness, love, and life and can - and will - do anything to help us realize and live that goodness, love, and life.

We are surrounded by God's goodness and love.  Despite the sin of our world, which continues to promote poverty and suffering, there is goodness in the world.  Despite the sin in our lives, which continues to promote despair and helplessness, God's goodness and love permeates our lives.  We just need to open our eyes to that goodness and love.  We need to recognize the goodness and love and hope rather than focus on the despair and suffering.  Then, when we experience God's healing power and love, we need to give thanks to God for that healing and love.

Parents must help their children to have this kind of faith.  They must help their children look for God's goodness and love in their lives and then give thanks to God.  When parents are constantly despairing, it is difficult for their children to see God's goodness that surrounds them, and then they become negative and woeful.  But when parents give thanks to God for the goodness and love in their lives, despite trials and suffering, they teach their children to keep their eyes open to the possibilities of God's healing power and to give thanks to God whenever they recognize God's goodness and love in their lives.

Are you a despairing parent or a thankful parent?  Are you teaching your children to be woeful or to keep their eyes open to the possibilities of God's goodness and love?

Faith Chat Questions:

Adults/Youth:  This past week, when have you stopped to tell someone "Thank you" for doing something for you?  How do you show your gratitude to God?

Children:  Make up a prayer telling God "Thank you" for everything you have.

Faith Response:  Create your own prayer of thanksgiving.  Have each family member contribute a thought - word - line to the prayer.  Pray your thanksgiving prayer at mealtimes throughout the week.

Pray:  Thank you, God, for everything!  Amen.

Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

The following information came to me from the Love & Logic Institute.  For more on parenting with Love & Logic, visit http://loveandlogic.com/.

Have you ever felt like a referee between your children?  According to Dr. Charles Fay from Love & Logic Institute, sibling rivalry is a frustrating issue because we cannot make our kids love each other.  Dr. Fay suggests instead of trying to control something we can’t control, we should focus on what we can control, such as:

1.  Whether we do extra things for kids who are battling with each other.  It's perfectly reasonable for a parent to say, "This is such a bummer. I'm tired-out from listening to you arguing with each other. I don't have the energy to drive you to your friends' houses."

2.  Whether we allow certain items to remain in our homes.  A friend of ours said to her kids, "This is so sad. Every time you guys play with that game you get in a fight. I gave it away so it wouldn't be a problem anymore."

3.  Whether we allow their fighting to interrupt our responsibilities and time.  Have you ever noticed how kids tend to argue and bicker with each other when you are trying to do something that requires your complete attention such as trying to talk on the phone? If you feel secure that your kids won’t harm each other, it's probably best to say, "This is really draining my energy. You guys need to work this out or go your separate ways."

4.  Whether we give them "bonding opportunities."  When your kids start to battle with each other, experiment with saying, "Sounds like you guys need some bonding time." Then assign them some chores to give them an opportunity to feel the love.

 And don't forget to pray!  As Christian parents, our primary activity in raising our children is to pray before making any decisions and acting on any of our children's behaviors.  With God's help, inspiration, guidance, and comfort, we will make the right decisions to help our children grow to be respectful, loving, and faith-filled adults.