"As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, 'Follow me.' And he got up and followed him" (Matthew 9:9).
When I reflect on this passage, I wonder if it was this simple: Jesus just saw Matthew at the customs post and immediately asked him to follow him; then Matthew just got up, left what he was doing, and walked away with Jesus. I know that when Jesus has called me to follow him, to do things that express my faith in him, it's never that simple. I tend to need to be called several times because I'm not open to Jesus' call for whatever reason. I may be too distracted by the busy-ness in my life. I may be too apathetic or lazy to hear Jesus' voice. I may just be too stubborn and want to do what I want to do rather than what Jesus wants me to do. Could it have been that way for Matthew, too?
I often imagine Jesus calling Matthew this way: Jesus passed by the customs post often. In his passing, he saw Matthew and talked with him frequently. Over time he got to know Matthew and Matthew got to know him. He learned of Matthew's concerns and joys, his family and friends, his job and his searching for meaning in his life. Eventually, Jesus said to Matthew, "Hey, Matthew, I know that you're not really happy doing what your doing, collecting taxes and fees from people. I know you want more in your life and for your family. Why don't you leave this and come with me." Then, I can see Matthew saying, "What do you mean, leave this and follow you? If I leave my job, how will I support my family? If I follow you, where will we go? What will we do? I don't know, Jesus, there's too much unknown for me just to leave this and follow you." But Jesus was persistent...he usually is! Eventually, he won over Matthew and Matthew got up and followed him.
I offer this reflection based on my own experience of Jesus' call in my life. Usually, I don't hear God calling right away, for the reasons I mentioned earlier and because I'm just not listening. So how can I be more open to hearing God's voice? Perhaps I can prayer more, spend a little more time in quiet reflection, maybe even 2-5 minutes each day. Maybe I could just try to be more aware of God present with me, surrounding me with the blessings I have like family, friends, food, shelter, the opportunity to work in church ministry, etc. Maybe I could deliberately ask God for help in making decisions, even the small basic decisions that I need to make on a daily basis.
Even if I am aware of God's voice calling to me, it often takes me a while to respond. I hesitate because I just don't want to respond, or I'm afraid of what following Jesus might mean for my life. I'm afraid of the unknown. But I find that when I eventually do respond and follow God's call, the blessings that result are overwhelming.
I think it's important for each person to regularly reflect on how Jesus is calling them, to be aware of Jesus' voice and presence in their lives. What will you do to listen more closely to Jesus' voice? What will you do to be more aware of Jesus' presence in your life? Consider the amazing possibilities of hearing Jesus and following him with every movement, every moment of your life.
